The two however don’t seem to coexist anywhere in the world at all! For some reason being fashionable necessary entails suffering from discomfort of the extreme degree – think skinny jeans (in which both my breathing and blood circulation seem to stop, even if I do manage to struggle into them, that is) or high heels which immediately give me vertigo and severe palpitations since I suffer from a fear of heights in any case!
All the clothes that are classified as high fashion expect you to first wear Spanx under them (for all the good boys reading this, Spanx is the equivalent of being mummified and wound up in a tight plastic bandage which prevents you from breathing while presumably also preventing any roll of flesh from making its presence felt). If you can get away from Spanx you end up wearing clothes which have various wires surreptitiously and cleverly entwined in the outfit, to hold various parts of your anatomy up or down as the case may be; which embarrassingly start beeping loudly at every security check you go through! Since this obviously replicates the effect of a bomb strapped to your body which you are trying to smuggle into the airport, all the security personnel milling around immediately jump up and watch you with narrow eyed suspicion until you sheepishly wind your way through the entire proceedings!
I thought I had finally found nirvana, at least with respect to the high heel problem, when I woke up one fine day to find out that while I was sleeping the erstwhile bathroom slippers had suddenly gotten invited to the top of the fashion buy zithromax without rx world’s table! And everybody who was anybody was walking around in embellished Havianas of all colors and designs, with quite a few having an entire flower patch or a fruit salad concoction decorating their feet! It was indeed a joyous moment for me and I broke the bank buying up slippers of all colors until just as I was swanning about feeling very cool and happening AND comfortable for a change, in a jiffy, women switched to strutting around wearing 10 inch heels!
After being stared at snootily by the various stylish women in my office over several occasions, I had no choice but to replace my beloved Havianas (which had become even more comfortable through constant use by then) with footwear which vaguely resembled stylish heels. Cleverly I have taken to carrying the beloved H’s with me to slip into at anonymous places like airports where you can very easily ignore the stares of Ms Stylish standing next to you, but it’s not the same anymore I can tell you!
And of course when I gently ask people in the apparel industry; some of whom I know very intimately, as to when they will make comfortable jeans for women like me (who by the way Dear Apparel King have pocket loads of money to buy your wares unlike the skinny and anorexic teenager whom your designer is obviously targeting) I am told that ‘Mommy jeans’ for middle aged, overweight women like me are soon being made available! Mommy – jeans? Excuse me?
Through this blog I openly challenge all designers to exercise their creative brains, and marry comfort with style and then see their cash registers tinkling all day long! Till then I would urge them to at least not give rude names to the clothes, we of the voluptuous variety wear? Thank you!